How Fear and Doubt Affect the Family Vision…….

Happy New Year to all you wonderful wives!!!!! We believe that your best year is upon you and we are excited to hear all about it!!!!

Today I want to talk about something that I personally believe that God has been tugging at my heart concerning my marriage and I want to bring you guys along for the ride. The question for this season of my marriage is:


How does fear and doubt affect the family vision?


I consider myself a thoughtful, supportive encouraging wife. Naturally, I thought that my entire being has been surrounded around making my spouse happy! Believe me when I tell you I’m the BOMB lol (clearly I’m tooting my own horn)

I’m not all wrong about being a great wife but I do believe in this season that I’m being stretched in my role as a wife!

In the last few months God has been showing me that at face value I appear to be onboard with the vision and the goals that we have made for our family however after serious devotional time, I see how my personal fears stood in the way of my being a helpmeet to my husband.

Now before I continue, I want to first make a disclaimer. What I am sharing with you is something that God is personally dealing with me about.  I do hope that my personal revelations will always encourage and inspire you all or at least be thought provoking allowing you all to initiate some self evaluation. Remember that we are on the same journey called wifehood! We haven’t arrived. We aim to be humble and open to accept areas where we may fall short.  Our ultimate goal is to become better helpmates to our husbands. Taking it a step further we strive to become women who are completely surrendered to God’s sovereignty, plan and desires for our lives and our families. Maintaining this posture keeps us firmly planted on the belief that marriage is good and can be even better when we put that good work in to enhance our marriages.

All right lets’ move on!

Taking you guys along for the ride, here are some questions that came to mind when I began to search my heart.

  1. What is your husband’s greatest desire/need right now in his life?
  2. What is stopping him from obtaining this desire/need?
  3. What is your opinion of this desire/need?
  4. How may this desire/need affect you and your household?
  5. What may this desire/need require of you?
  6. What do you risk losing?
  7. Are you 100% on board with the vision?
  8. If you have answered yes to the previous question, are you sure?

Question # 7 is a tough one! Your first instinct may be to say YESSSS Absolutely!!! but then when you break it down there may be some things that cause hesitation.

Still think that you are 100% on board?

My hubby used a great analogy: Imagine that you are on the biggest race of your life. You and your husband are hand in hand racing towards the finish line. You are both focused however you decide to turn around and look to see how far you’ve come; you see things you may have left behind or you get distracted by the scenery along the way. All of a sudden your husband now bears the weight of your slowed/ distracted pace. You start to see others in the race pass you by and you begin to feel discouraged, fearful and possibly defeated.

The scenery along the way or looking back to see what you may left behind isn’t always because of something bad… in fact as my husband mentioned in our most recent heart to heart, the “it” factor could be something that may be worthwhile, honorable and can even be fulfilling. It may have made great contributions to your life and as a result you may have lost site of the visions and goals you previously set.

Maybe looking ahead, you glimpse the possible obstacles ahead. Maybe you come to a check point but can’t see past it and you are afraid of the unknown.

The doubt and fear causes you to slow your pace.

Get the picture?

All of the things that slow our pace decreases the percentage of our support of the family vision.

There are many risks and dangers associated with this. Husbands and wives can drift apart loosing sight of the vision. Our husbands may feel unsupported. Our confidence in life success dwindle while the joy and partnership in marriage begin to deteriorate.

As we transition into the new year I urge you to ask yourselves the questions above. I challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to give you a new perspective into your role as a wife and how you affect the vision. BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. STEP OUT ON FAITH. Don’t just step LEAP! Make your vision a reality and meet our goals. STAY STRONG.

I really needed this because my fears and doubts put a strain on our family vision. After having some hard but honest conversations with the hubster, we were able to refocus and continue our race hand in hand! We had to renew our faith and trust not only in one another but we had to remember that we didn’t write our vision alone. We were reminded that God himself gave us the inspiration to write the vision. If He wrote it, SURELY He will be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119: 105).

We started this year making some big and bold decisions! But we feel His GRACE sooooo strongly. So in the words of our awesome Caribbean culture “Forward EVER Backward NEVER”!!!!

What I really want to stress in this post is that the wife is a POWERFUL driving force to her husband and her family. If she operates out of fear and doubt all may be lost. But if she operates the way that she was designed to be…… courageous, graceful, nurturing, bold,  fearless, supportive, affirming, encouraging…..The bible says she is the crown of her husband.  Which mens she is the symbol of not only his strength and power but his JOY and GLADNESS. She is the very illustration of his ROYALTY.  He will be VICTORIOUS and his family BLESSED because of YOU!

As always we are praying for you guys!

Please feel free to let us know if this post gave you any insight in to your own roles as wives and please share or comment. we want to hear from you!!!!!


Love you ladies!!!


Until Next Time



*** FRIENDLY REMINDER***: At Wives Unite, we strive to focus on our roles as wives regardless of whether our husbands “deserve” it or not. Whether your marriage is in a good place or if you are experiencing trying times please know that we can all be better wives. Change can start with us!









  • Hmmm, I’m kind of disappointed in this blog..I actually see it alotin other blogs. You say you want feedback and you want to hear from the people but then you guys dissappear for about four and a half months ..I know you all have personal lives and church families but not everyone has a place to fellowship so at times a blog is a person’s only(earthly) outlet. I’m not saying g write a post everyday but at least have a small amount of consistency. Everyone is not involved in social media outlets. Hope I’m not coming off rude. Take care and I hope for truth and love to come forth from this blog.shalom

    • Good morning Anon,

      We thank you and welcome your comment and opinion. The truth is that we have disappeared. Yes our lives are pretty crazy and the truth is sometimes our blog has had to come 2nd to some other pressing matters. While this is the truth, it isn’t an excuse. We thank you especially for your commitment to us and we do want to apologize to you for leaving you hanging. We are even more so grateful that you have still look out for us and we hope that we can change your disappointment to a confidence that you can depend on. Thank you for keeping us accountable!

      with so much love,

      Kim and Celeste

  • Yes, fear and doubt can affect the family in every way!! I am guilty of this and have also recently had a conversation with my husband. Supporting 100 percent can be hard but it’s needed. We are working on this so we can keep our vision for the family!! Keep the faith and the belief in each other!!

    • Hi Liz!!!

      It’s super true! supporting 100% can be difficult because there are so many things that affect whether we can be “All in” for real. I’m glad to hear that you and your husband were able to take about it! I’m even more so excited to hear how this conversation catopulted you guys into your next season!! awaiting the details!!!!!

      So nice hearing from you!



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