I am all for healthy marriages. I believe that God wants us ALL to experience His love in our marriages. However, sometimes things happen. Sometimes we’re not able to keep our cool. Sometimes we don’t submit. Sometimes we do what we shouldn’t even when we know it’s wrong. Why? Because we’re human.
I usually blog about instances that are positive because I want Wives Unite to be an inspiration for you. But today, I feel led to share with you a real moment that I had very recently.
Hubby and I were driving home while Nick was spending the night by his grandmother. I was expressing my feelings about about an issue that was SUPER important to me and he was giving me nothing but one worded responses. Before I go forward, let me back track. One of my biggest peeves is lack of verbal communication. I love to talk. I love to express my feelings and thoughts. I even went to school and graduated with a degree in Communications – it’s definitely a huge factor for me. Now, fast forward – I quickly got upset at his one worded responses and started to throw some under the belt comments. Was this a smart move? Absolutely not, but at this point I was overcome with my own emotions. Then, hubby retaliated making a sly comment toward me. At this point, I became enraged because although his remark was sly, he said it in the calmest tone EVER. Then, I did the unthinkable.
Y’all ready for this?
Oh Father, here we go.
I open the door, while he’s driving to get out the car. Now, what possessed me to do this? Lord alone knows. I think I was somewhere between anger and trying to make a point.
Why am I sharing this? To show that WE ARE ALL HUMAN. My marriage isn’t perfect and sometimes I get mad and act out of character. But the crucial thing is what do you do after that?
First of all, I ended up getting back in the car with him and we were able to talk it out. That helped a lot. I wasn’t completely over it but he understood my POV which was a start. Next, I forced myself to get over it. I was able to talk to him about something other than what made me angry to begin with. It wasn’t much, we chatted about food, but it brought back the realization that this is my husband and as mad as I am, he’s still in the same house and bed with me for the night so staying mad will only negatively effect me because at this point, he’s fine. Lastly, I did a devotion. It had nothing to do with our disagreement, but it caused me to remember that I am a Christian and have to conduct myself as such even when I’m super angry.
Did I apologize for my actions before I went to bed? Sadly I didn’t. But the next morning I did.
Again, not the ideal situation but this is real life; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
If you make a mistake in your marriage, take baby steps to right your wrong and remind yourself that above all, you are committed to your role as a wife and to your hubby. Like me, you may not always be able to do the right thing in the moment, but I believe that the more we condition our minds to wanting to FIX problems and not DWELL on them, the better wives we will become.