Lifestyle

Tit for Tat: Roles Without Conditions

Your husband comes in from work, walks right past the garbage that is overflowing, stank, and literally calling out for him to take it out; instead of doing so, he plops himself on the couch without even a “hello”, hug, or “how was your day?” as you are in the kitchen preparing dinner.

There are several ways you can respond to this:

  1. Greet him with a hug, ask him how his day went, and continue cooking
  2. Ignore him entirely, finish cooking, then go to bed
  3. Stop cooking, say “screw this” and do something you want to do instead

I think we’ve all been in either this situation or something similar to it.  So…what would you do?

The easy answer would be B or even C.  I mean, we’re humans – if he’s not doing what he has to do, then why should we? Right?! …wrong.  Our roles are our responsibilities regardless of what our husbands do.  This may seem unfair and truthfully, it is BUT it’s what we signed up for when we said “I Do”.  We signed up to be the “better half” even when he’s not doing the same.  We signed up to love and cherish him until death do us part, and not “only if he does the same in return”.  

The good thing is that the Bible states that there is a reward in this practice!

1 Peter 3:1-4 (The Message)

“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs.  There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.  What matters is not your outer appearance – the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes – but your inner disposition.”

When you are able to put your feelings aside and still cater to your husband in spite of if he’s operating in his role, you’re now reflecting your INNER disposition, which in this case, will be mirroring that of Christ’s.  We hear it all the time, actions speak louder than words – so let’s now embody this quote for the betterment of our marriages.  Let’s show our husbands that even if they may not be doing what they need to, we are STILL committed to our roles and when we do this, it is INEVITABLE for our heart and “inner disposition” to shine through and transform the way our husbands react to us as well.

If after reading this post, you’re challenged to make a change in how you respond to your husband at times when he does does something that displeases you, I encourage you to pray this prayer as often as you need to, believing that God has already seen your heart and answered your prayer.

“Lord, help me to be good wife who is responsive to my husband’s needs.  I pray that, according to your word, my husband will be captivated by my life of holy beauty and that a transformation will take place as I seek You in how best to cater to him.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

5 Comments

  • This is what we sigh up for, and it truly work, keep up the the good work Sis kimberly, you are an inspiration to young ladies. And old ones like me lol.

    Reply
    • It DEF takes hard work but the plus is that it’s ALWAYS worth it 🙂

      Reply
  • I completely agree, however I do feel that in still being committed to our roles as wives, we must also communicate with our husbands if he is not fufiling his end of the bargain (in a respectful way). Something I’ve done in the past is wait until we are eating dinner and then express to him my thoughts and concerns. Men do not think the way we do, so we must be open and communicate to avoid unnecessary resentments, assumptions, and arguments.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much for reading and responding!

      I couldn’t agree more. Communication is one of the most important aspects of marriage and good communication makes BOTH parties transition into their roles even more smoothly without causing any issues within the couple!

      Reply
  • Thank you for posting this. This was a great reminder as our roles as Wives in which God has called us to be helpers and the value in being able to carry that role for the glory of the Lord, the household and society. Great blog!

    Reply

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